A Doozy of a Day
by SquirrelySpeedBump
Summary: The Sanzo gang are driving along one day and have a "trip" over two girls. One is unbelievably hyper and the other has Sanzo's attitude. And just what are they trying to hide? Please R&R!
1. Eventful Encounter

**Author's Note**: This is most likely going to be one of the most insane and on-crack (not literally) fanfics for Saiyuki that you will read. This fic was inspired by one of my best friends and her wacky antics. After watching a few episodes with her, we joked around about how interesting it would be to have her show up. Eventually, I decided to write a fanfic on it.

**Also Note**: This is NOT, by any means, a Mary Sue fic. What this means, is that I did not put my friend and I into the story for the men to fall madly in love with us. This is just a S&G story.

**Warning**: It might be a wise idea to take a long break between the chapters to either try to understand what the hell you just read or to stop from laughing so hard. I don't want to be blamed for any mental or physical suffering you receive by reading this.

**Chapter One Story Note**: For those who don't know or realize it, Gojyo is referred to as "Kappa" quite often. In Japanese folklore, a Kappa is known for drowning people for no reason. The only way to stop it, is to bow down to it traditionally and it will bow back. It has a bowl of water on its head and when it bows, the water spills out and it becomes disoriented. The only other way known to stop a Kappa, is to write your name on a cucumber and through it at the water demon.

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**CHAPTER 1: EVENTFUL ENCOUNTER**

It was an extremely and unusually hot day. The Sanzo gang rode in Jeep slowly towards a town, continuing with their usual antics.

"You damn Monkey! Give me back my cigarettes!" Gojyo tried to reach unsuccessfully against Goku's foot as the little demon shook the Kappa's pack over his head with a wide grin. Sanzo was in his usual shotgun spot with his forehead dug deep into his palm. "Hakkai, I beg of you, please, do something to keep me sane," he sighed. Hakkai smiled his usual smile and veered Jeep to the side, causing Gojyo to topple out. He stepped on the brakes and looked back, "Oh my, it seems Gojyo forgot his seatbelt."

The water sprite groaned and sat up slowly, "Ugh... what the hell'd I land on?" He rubbed his head and turned around to see a young female staring up at him. Her long reddish hair was tied back in a ponytail and her bright green eyes stared up at him curiously. "Ha ha, stupid Kappa! You landed on a girl!" Goku giggled insanely.

"A Kappa?" the female was shocked... so shocked in fact that she scrambled up behind another female standing nearby. Her purple hair was tied back in a tight bun and her own green eyes were narrow as she sighed. The redhead immediately thrust out a cucumber at him, "Don't drown me please!"

The Sanzo gang sat there in silence, blinking in confusion. The other female shook her head and sighed, "Moen, he's not going to drown you. We're in the middle of a dirt road."

The smaller girl blinked herself, "Oh." She threw the cucumber at him anyway. It bounced off his head and into his lap. "Yay, I win! 10 points!" she giggled happily and wiggled the other girl's arm. Hakkai stepped out of Jeep and helped Gojyo to his feet. "Are you alright... Moen, was it?" he asked her politely. She stared at him for a few seconds, still gripping the other girl's arm. Within a split-second she was at his side, wrapping herself around one of his arms. "Ooo, you're pretty," she smiled happily.

A small sweatdrop tumbled down the side of his forehead, "You sure are friendly."

"I'm sorry," the other girl started, "She has a tendency to cling..." Sanzo stepped out of the car and walked to Hakkai's side. He studied the situation and finally asked, "How do we get her off?"

"I like to use the little spray for laundry that helps for non-cling. She slides right off."

"Chari, don't tell them that," the small girl whined and hugged the calm demon tighter. Goku stayed in his seat, turned around and arms folded over the back of Jeep with a wide grin, "I like her, she's as air-headed as Gojyo."

"Shut up, stupid," Moen stuck her tongue out at the Monkey demon.

"I'm not stupid, you are!"

"You're better at it, stupid!"

"Well, you're stupider!"

Moen stopped and blinked at him, "That's not even a word, dumbass!"

"It is too, stick!"

"Actually Goku," Hakkai interrupted, "She's quite right. 'Stupider' is not a word."

Chari sighed and put a hand to her forehead, "Just shut up."

Sanzo looked at her amazed, "Thank you!"

She glanced back at him, "Whatever, I'm used to it. I guess I have a higher tolerance for hyperactivity." She walked over to Gojyo and picked up the cucumber at his feet. She then dusted it off slightly and then put it back into her basket of veggies. "Chari! Don't take his cucumber! He'll kill you!"

Chari stared at Moen, "What the hell are you talking about?! Does he look dangerous?"

Moen clung to Hakkai's side and was silent for a moment, "Not really... he looks like a pervert." The Sanzo gang was speechless once again, especially since Hakkai was not free to hold back the enraged Gojyo. The kappa walked briskly over to Moen's side and grabbed the back of her shirt. "Why you little... ouch! Damn it!" Before he realized it, she had turned in his grasp and sunk her teeth into his hand. "You taste like a pervert too," she said through gritted teeth.

He shook his arm, "Get off! You're drooling all over my arm." His face scrunched in disgust. She grinned at him widely, leaning back against Hakkai in satisfaction with drool lining her bottom lip. "You may be a pervert, but I like you anyway! But I like the pretty one more," she grinned up at Hakkai. Hakkai looked down at her, a crippled smile lining his own face. A thought raced through his mind: "Buddha, what did I do to deserve this?"

Meanwhile, Sanzo, Goku, and Chari watched in amazement at the stupidity performing in front of them. Goku's jaw dropped when Moen called Gojyo a pervert. He immediately grabbed his tomach and let out roars of laughter. A nerve popped on Sanzo's forehead and he slammed his foot down on the monkey king's groin. Chari watched him do so out of the corner of her eye, still keeping watch over her spastic friend. "That's not very nice... uh, who are you, by the way," she suddenly realized she had not caught their real names.

After groaning for a second or two, the short boy spoke up right away, "I'm Goku! By the way, can I have that cucumber?" Sanzo's fan came swiftly, whacking the monkey over the back of his head. "Ow! What'd you do that for, Sanzo? I'm hungry and none of us can cook worth shit!" Goku said, wrapping his arms around his head.

"Sanzo?" Chari questioned, "As in one of the five enlightened ones? Oh, just my luck..."

"Excuse me?" Sanzo cocked any eyebrow.

"I heard your group enjoys killing demons."

"Your point being?"

She glanced at Moen and then back at him quickly, "Never mind."

"Um, excuse me! I really hate to interrupt, but could you maybe get her off of me?" Hakkai asked politely.

Chari glanced over again, "Uh sure." She began to dig through the sack she was carrying. "Shit."

Another sweatdrop fell from Hakkai, "What?"

Chari scratched at the side of her forehead with her index finger and let out an embarrased chuckle, "I seem to have forgotten my non-cling..."

"Oh wonderful," Hakkai said with a smile. The kappa fell to the ground in bouts of laughter. Moen reached out with her leg and kicked him very close to his pride. A yelp escaped his mouth and he curled up quickly. "Man, that girl rocks!" Goku beamed. Chari simply shook her head. She turned towards Sanzo, "Could you take us into town and I'll get my friend off yours."

"Very well, we will."

"Chari!" Moen shouted out, "I have to pee!" A whimper came suddenly from her throat. "Oh good," Chari put her head into her palm.

"How delightful..." Hakkai shuddered, almost ready to break out in tears.

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(End chapter one – I hope you liked it enough to read and review. Thanks!

SquirrelySpeedBump)


	2. Magical Mishaps

**AN**: Wow, aren't you lucky. You get another chapter for this fic. sweatdrop I'm not so great at updating so please be patient with me. I will try to update more often once I get some break time from classes. My roommate keeps hassling me to write more, so hopefully this will please her for now.

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**CHAPTER 2: MAGICAL MISHAPS**

Chari sat calmly, with her arms crossed, between Gojyo and Goku. Moen sat in the front seat of Jeep with Sanzo, and she was still keeping herself attached to Hakkai. Goku was sprawled out and snoring loudly. A small nerve pulsed under Chari's skin, but she kept her calm. Gojyo had his chin in his palm and stared at the passing landscapes.

"Turn left here!" Moen smiled happily.

"Don't listen to her if you want her off…" Chari immediately corrected.

"Shut up, Chari!"

Sanzo also had a pulsing nerve, but being less tolerant than Chari, he cocked the gun in his lap. "Chari, how much farther?" Chari pulled out a compass and stared at it for a moment and then she looked towards the sun. She sighed and put the compass back in her left chest plate. "About another mile before we need to turn."

Goku began to stretch out as he awoke from his sleeping trance. "I'm hungry… are we there yet?" he yawned. Chari finally removed his leg from her lap, forcing him to sit up. "Give it another ten minutes or so," she replied.

Moen snuggled closer to Hakkai, "I don't wanna leave the pretty one!" Gojyo glanced towards her and sighed heavily. He turned towards Chari, "Hey! Can't you do anything to shut her up?" Chari shrugged and leaned forward, pointing towards an overhanging cliff ahead. "You can turn left beyond that cliff, Hakkai. It'll take you on a back road that leads straight to our home."

Sanzo turned to Chari, "So why exactly were you out so far away from your house?" She looked back at him and narrowed her eyes. "Moen saw a butterfly…" Goku burst out laughing, gripping his stomach as he fell forward in Jeep. Sanzo turned around and whacked the monkey, "Don't laugh at someone who's as incompetent as you!"

Moen leaned over and bit Sanzo on the calf, "Be nice!" He gritted his teeth and looked towards Chari. Before he could say anything, she put a hand out to keep him quiet, "No, she doesn't have rabies." He turned back and sat down, muttering unhappily under his breath as he lit up a cigarette.

Hakkai turned Jeep slowly onto a dirt road, smiling every once in a while when he hit a large rock and Moen lost her grip. "I didn't realize it was going to be so bumpy," he said as he purposely drove over a big stone.

Before they reached the house, Hakkai slammed on the brakes. "What the hell are you doing?!" Gojyo screamed in Hakkai's ear. The near-sighted demon lifted his hand and pointed in front of Jeep. "There's a rather large feline in the middle of the road," he said calmly.

The gang looked out to see a cat five times the size of a normal housecat licking its paws. "Shoot it, Sanzo!" Goku exclaimed. Before Sanzo could re-cock his gun, Moen was jumping out of Jeep and wrapping her arms around the enormous cat. "Melon! There you are, you silly kitty!"

Chari stepped out of the car and turned to the Sanzo group, "My advice is run now and ask questions later…" Moen was at Hakkai's side again, hugging his arm tightly. "You can't go, we still have more fun ahead of us!" she smiled brightly. Chari sighed and trudged on towards a small hut ahead of the group. "Come on," she started, "That's our house up ahead. I'll make supper."

"Food!" Goku jumped off Jeep and took off ahead of Chari. She stopped in her tracks and blinked at the dust rising in front of her. "Onward, driver!" Moen called out with a deep British accent.

Inside the House

"I hope you don't mind vegetable stew… it's all we have," Chari said as she walked around the large table, pouring soup into their bowls. Just as she reached Sanzo to dump some broth into his bowl, Goku stuck out his bowl from across the table. "More please!" he said enthusiastically, showing her the empty bowl. After getting another helping, Goku smiled at Sanzo for a second and then back to his bowl. "What the hell?!" he shouted.

"What is it Goku?" Sanzo asked as he sipped his tea.

"My food's gone!" he sounded distressed. Frantically, he looked around until they all heard an indiscreet slurp near Hakkai. Everything went silent until he spoke up, "I believe I found your thief." He smiled gently as he nudged Moen into giving the empty bowl back.

"Why you…" Goku fumed and tackled her, "How dare you eat my food!" They rolled along the floor, gnawing and biting at each other. "All right," Gojyo said, "Time to break it up." He started to get up, but Chari immediately shoved him back into place. "No. This is good. She'll sleep tonight," she said softly.

The group was silent, watching the two fight like little boys. The sun set slowly beyond the horizon before they even realized it. Goku and Moen had fallen asleep toppled on top of each other.

"You know, Hakkai, I just realized…" Sanzo began.

"Hm, what's that?" he gave an air-headed smile.

"You're free."

"Oh! It seems you're – " Moen had woken up in that split-second and jumped back upon Hakkai, "Hm… Chari, it looks like I still need that non-stick stuff."

Chari looked at Moen, who had fallen asleep instantly, and then walked off to the kitchen. Gojyo followed her, wondering if he could help with _anything_. Within moments, a loud and harsh smack came from there, "Hands off, asshole!" She walked out, stepping over something on the ground. It was Gojyo.

"What did he do?" Sanzo said, looking up from the newspaper that he somehow found.

"Well," she went into a long speech on how he followed her, flirted with her, spun her, flirted some more, and tried to give her a kiss.

Sanzo raised a doubtful eyebrow, "He did all that in the span of 10 seconds?"

"Gojyo seems to be getting faster," Hakkai smiled. Chari glared at him and a sweatdrop ran down his forehead.

"He likes you, Chari… just like Hakkai likes me!" Moen said groggily as she climbed down from Hakkai, standing near him without holding him.

Chari didn't even hesitate, "Hakkai doesn't like you."

Moen gave a quiet gasp and then began to sob loudly, collapsing to the floor. Hakkai felt horrible; he squatted down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I like you," he smiled kindly.

Moen immediately glomped him, clinging ferociously, "Yay! I heart you too!"

"You deserve that," Chari said to Hakkai.

"Did you find the non-stick?" Sanzo sighed.

"Yes, I did. I'll spray it now and she'll stay off for at least a month." Chari walked over and squirted them.

A bright pink puff of smoke surrounded the two huggers. "What the fuck is this stuff," Goku said loudly as he stood from his sleeping spot, squinting his eyes as it billowed out towards the rest of them.

When the smoke cleared, Moen was standing upright with a hand behind her head and one on her hip, "Well, this is interesting…" Hakkai was on the floor, his legs wrapping backwards and his hands placed firmly on the ground in front of him. He blinked with large eyes and then suddenly hugged himself. "I'm pretty!" he shouted as he fell forward in a nosedive.

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(End Chapter 2 

Hope that was interesting enough for you. I made sure to leave you hanging on the end there… BWA HA HA!

SquirrelySpeedBump)


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